Title: The Little Pink Book of Etiquette: A Civilized Person's Guide to Getting It Right.
Author: Ruth Cullen.
Genre: Non-fiction, etiquette, how-to's, humour.
Publication Date: February 2005.
Summary: This how-to primer that teaches how to get it right the first time, and does so with incisive humour and flair.
My rating: 6/10
♥ Gum chewing was prohibited is school for a reason: it's annoying. Unless you're a cow, the incessant chewing of anything has no place in public, and especially not in business meetings, lecture halls, and waiting rooms. The same holds true for fidgeting and general restlessness. Feet need not dance while you sit, barring some legitimate medical condition, of course. If they do, it's either time to ixnay the Tarbucksay, or get thee to a yoga class.
♥ Here comes the bridal shower. In honor of your upcoming nuptials, and in celebration of a long and prosperous married life, I hereby present you with... a Crock-Pot with matching lingerie.
♥ After a break-up, the way you deal with your ex puts your manners on full display. You can either rise like the cream in your coffee, or sink like the sandbag you tied to your ex's golf clubs.
♥ When the date is underway, do not ask for doggie bags, talk about exes, or receive cell phone calls - especially on first dates. You'll have plenty of opportunities later in the relationship to ignore your companion and make a pig of yourself. (Refer to Exes on pages 42-43, and read more about Phones on pages 55-60).
♥ More times than not, however, our actions speak louder than our words. It may seem rude or cowardly, but when you don't have the heart to tell someone how you really feel ("I can't get past your mullet."), and you try to spare their feelings by hoping they get the message some other way (you move to Toledo), you're actually showing them courtesy and respect.
If they don't read your signals (you're never home, or you're very busy, or you have malaria, or the like) then give them time. If they're still calling two years later and lurking outside your workplace, then call the police.
♥ Guests should not overstay their welcome or otherwise take advantage of the graciousness of the hostess (e.g., asking her to put on a third pot of coffee). Be mindful of context clues such as other guests leaving, or the hostess changing into her nightgown, and thank your hostess while departing at a decent hour.
♥ When it comes to etiquette, we must speak common language so that our good intentions and consideration for others can be understood. Don't confuse Grandma by thanking her for "the bread" when you mean "money", and whatever you do, don't tell her she's "kickin'."
♥ What you consider "friendly distance" may be "too close for comfort" for someone else. If you continually sense that people are backing away from you when you speak, either you've overstepped your bounds, or it's time to lay off the garlic.
♥ Do say, "Please pass the..." instead of reaching across the table and igniting yourself on an open flame.
♥ Don't grasp eating utensils as you would a garden trowel or hammer, or place used utensils directly on the table.