Title: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays.
Author: Joshua Piven, David Borgenicht, and Brenda Brown.
Genre: Non-fiction, how-to's, humour.
Publication Date: 2001.
Summary: Turkey on fire? No plans for New Year's Eve? Obnoxious relatives headed your way? Learn how to rescue someone stuck in a chimney, survive the office holiday party, and escape a runaway parade balloon. Expertly deal with a meddling parent, silence a group of carolers, and treat a tongue stuck to a frozen pole. With a helpful appendix of holiday excuses, last-minute gift ideas, and creative drink recipes for when the liquor runs out.
My rating: 6/10
Please sit down over here by me. There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time, and I think you're old enough to now.
I know you believe with all your heart that there is a person called Santa Claus who brings you presents every year if you are good, but the truth is that there is no Santa Claus. "Santa Claus" is really all the parents in the world, who love their children very much and buy them presents to show how much they love them.
Your presents are not made by elves in a toy shop at the North Pole. There is no such thing as an elf; and the North Pole is actually one of the loneliest and most desolate places on Earth. The truth is that mom and dad buy all your presents at the mall, and we're the ones who eat Santa's cookies and drink Santa's milk. Reindeer can't fly, either.
But don't cry. This doesn't mean that the spirit of Santa Claus isn't real. "Santa Claus" is inside all of us, whenever we give presents to those that we love or those who are less fortunate. When you grow up, you can be Santa, too. Or the Easter Bunny. Or the Tooth Fairy.